Where the Love Grows and How to Find It

Isabel WilliamGuest Posts, How To Practice Mindfulness, Ideas For Your Mind, Meditation0 Comments

Loving yourself is a simple premise…

Maybe the phrase has become a cliché at some point in time, but a cliché wouldn’t be a cliché if it weren’t true. Thus, we often disregard simple things as too naïve, while they are usually the most profound ones. It’s amazing how lives can get better when people start to love themselves more with every day. When this improves, negative relationships dissolve, new ones begin, and some get better.

Our brains are wired for human relationships. Being among people, understanding your role, and respecting yourself is something that many people find hard to do. Instead of retreating in order to be able to open up, we retreat to protect ourselves. It’s the second decade of the 21st century and things are still going fast. People lose focus from themselves by being obsessed with their career, work, social networking, and getting bombed by information that can create a whirl of never-ending thoughts that lead us in circles. We forget how to talk to ourselves because we don’t find the time. Be fast, get yours, reject what is unnecessary, and then do it again.

Could it be that we’ve come to ignore our inner voice? Turn down the noise that comes from the outside. It is important to learn how to turn to yourself and nature, no matter how old you are. You can find your peace and nurture the love that you want to show both to yourself and others. It just needs a fertile ground to rise from. Take enough time for yourself and go step by step, free of doubt and desire for perfection.

Accept Yourself

You cannot be happy unless you see yourself as an equal to everyone else. One important mechanism that makes our lives much simpler and happier is our self-esteem. With self-acceptance comes self-esteem, and once you accept yourself, you start approving your existence.

What is love if not the deepest kind of appreciation? Accept everything about yourself: the qualities, the embarrassments, little peculiarities, as well as the things you may not do that well. Improve your self-esteem by:

  • Avoiding perfectionism. When you think that you’re not good enough to live up to a certain standard, you can get paralyzed from taking action. This is called perfectionism and can actually be destructive. Don’t daydream so much about perfection and make frequent reality checks. Otherwise, you won’t get anything done.
  • Taking care of your mind and body. You can improve your confidence by honoring your physical health. Grant yourself more sleep, stop staying up late, and don’t eat junk food. Even simply wearing clean clothes can improve the image you have of yourself. Make small shifts towards regular exercise and a balanced diet.
  • Doing what you think is right. What thing is the right thing? It’s the one that you feel is right deep down. Give your best, even though it’s not always an easy thing to do.

Practice meditation and yoga

Yoga has meditative features, and adds a physical workout to the psychological benefits of meditation.

The main benefit of meditation is becoming peaceful, enthusiastic and joyful. On a physical level, meditation lowers high blood pressure, improves serotonin secretion and the immune system, and decreases tension-related pain. On a psychological level, it helps increase stability, creativity, mental sharpness, helps develop intuition, make problems appear smaller than we thought they were, and balance out our expanded consciousness and sharp mind.

With yoga, you’ll perfect your posture, improve flexibility and muscle strength, up your heart rate, lower blood pressure and blood sugar. Look through a list of good yoga postures, find a place where you feel comfortable (a corner of your home or a sunbathed park), start breathing, and create a positive image of yourself. It will boost your confidence and put a smile on your face.

Spend time in nature

It would be best to live in the suburbs or outside the city. If the city hassle makes you nervous, and you find that spending time in nature can help you find love, then think about moving into the country or, at least, to a green residential area. This can be especially beneficial if your kids are still small – besides the lower costs of homes and the chance for the kids to play and grow up in the fields and forests with fresh air, you’ll have fewer psychological problems. Living in a green environment can help relieve depression, sadness, and anxiety. If your work ties you firmly to the city, you can choose to spend your retirement in some of the best retirement villages, and dedicate your time to your family, their love, and the fruit that love bears.

Be with your loved ones

Spending time with the ones you love will eradicate your loneliness, decrease stress levels, and help you make a difference in your lifestyle habits. Having a rich social life is known to make your life healthier and longer. A partner, a friend, or children can help us feel less lonely, afraid, and self-conscious, increasing our self-esteem by showing that they care about us in spite of anything.

Many people still think that they should love themselves only when they get a new job, a raise, a boyfriend/girlfriend, or when they lose weight. Stop putting conditions on your love. Transform your way of life into a more peaceful and loving experience. No matter what we may say to ourselves, we can’t be absolutely rational, as there are many inborn instincts that drive us through life. Stop looking outside for love and validation, but find it within.

About the Author

Isabel William

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Isabel F. William Body&Mind Balance Consultant. Lover of literature and philosophy, runner, and Tai Chi master. She believes that sometimes it is just enough to enjoy a really good book, smooth jazz and a cup of coffee to travel somewhere else