Do you struggle to deal with negative thoughts?

When we ask people what their motivation is for learning how to practice mindfulness, we regularly hear reasons such as:

“I want to learn to control my thinking”
“I want to stop negative thoughts”
“I want to learn how to foster positive thinking”.

Now, we don’t want to demotivate you or frustrate you, but the truth is that you can’t control your thoughts.

Yes, I said it.

Thoughts may pop into your head randomly, or they may even arise as a result of whatever task you are doing or the situations that surround you. Either way, they arise, and you can’t fully control when or how they arise.

And guess what?

Trying to not think about something actually makes it more likely that you will!

Here’s an example – don’t think about a purple singing elephant…

Did you?

Even though you might have tried not to think about a purple singing elephant, it’s likely the thought entered your mind, even if only briefly.

Don’t feel in despair…

Now that you have accepted that you can’t directly control your thoughts, you can redirect your energy and focus on what you can do – learning to observe your thoughts.

Learn to observe your thoughts like clouds in the sky…

The key is to bring a conscious awareness to your thoughts as they arise.

Learn to spot them.

Observe them.

Imagine that each thought you have is like a cloud in the sky.

There are thousands of clouds in the sky. These clouds come and go throughout the day. In the same way that your thoughts may come and go throughout the day.

Always remember – You are not your thoughts – this is absolutely crucial!

Once you have an awareness of your thoughts and remind yourself that you are not your thoughts, you can then develop the ability to observe thoughts in your mind and choose not to get caught up in them.

Choose not to make decisions or react based on them, because these thoughts aren’t you!

A simple 7-second trick for dealing with negative thoughts

Here’s an example…

A negative thought enters your mind – “I’m never going to be able to do this”.

You have two choices here:

1. You agree with your thought and fuel it

“Here’s why I can’t…”

“Now I feel demotivated and low…”

These thoughts will fuel other negative thoughts and all of a sudden you get yourself into a negative spiral.

2. You observe your thought, thank it and let it go

“Ok, so my mind has suggested I’m never going to be able to do this.”

Take a second to gain an awareness of the thought and the feelings it brings.

Then thank the thought, and allow it to float away and pass by like a cloud.

Just let it go.

Don’t fuel it. Don’t agree or disagree.

Simply, acknowledge it – “Ok, thanks thought, goodbye.”

Now, this scenario may seem a bit strange, but we want to attempt to portray the process as clearly as possible.

You can’t stop thoughts, but you can choose how you respond to them.

You can learn to interrupt the thought process before it snowballs into a bunch of other thoughts that spin off it.

It is exactly the same when feelings or emotions arise…

It might be tempting to engage in them (this is what your brain has conditioned itself to do over many years).

Instead, simply apply a sense of awareness, observe them and let go.

You can choose not to fuel the thoughts and empower yourself not to react in a certain manner.

It’s that simple – observe the thought/feeling/emotion, thank it, and let it go.

Remember – the more you practice this, the easier it will become and the quicker you’ll learn to manage your mind.